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Literature Text
My, how lovely is this quiet sea,
Breaking on the shores and on the lea
Curling, tasting of the air and wind,
Taking with its waves a part of me.
Give it back: the pieces I rescind.
Night calls for the cobwebs worn and thinned,
Stretching in the grass--a well-loved place
Fulsome, empty, cold, replete with sins.
Beautiful your midnight frosted grace;
Fearful is the night moon on your face.
Say I, come and walk awhile alone;
Beaches, silence, glitters bright deep space.
Stars breathe miles away in heat unknown
Scent of space and call of night intoned
Split the air with grace, peel back the crust
Letting rocks and trees their praises groan.
Given that I mark the night unjust--
Broken cobwebs much like broken trust,
Thinned and glinting is the breath of dawn
Breathing interplanetary dust.
Light breaks forth and brings all life foregone.
My, what is this journey I am on?
Scream, oh stars, as sunlight hides your depth.
I--I take the hill-road, grace withdrawn.
Breaking on the shores and on the lea
Curling, tasting of the air and wind,
Taking with its waves a part of me.
Give it back: the pieces I rescind.
Night calls for the cobwebs worn and thinned,
Stretching in the grass--a well-loved place
Fulsome, empty, cold, replete with sins.
Beautiful your midnight frosted grace;
Fearful is the night moon on your face.
Say I, come and walk awhile alone;
Beaches, silence, glitters bright deep space.
Stars breathe miles away in heat unknown
Scent of space and call of night intoned
Split the air with grace, peel back the crust
Letting rocks and trees their praises groan.
Given that I mark the night unjust--
Broken cobwebs much like broken trust,
Thinned and glinting is the breath of dawn
Breathing interplanetary dust.
Light breaks forth and brings all life foregone.
My, what is this journey I am on?
Scream, oh stars, as sunlight hides your depth.
I--I take the hill-road, grace withdrawn.
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A rubaiyat for DFC day 20. Rubaiyat is a Persian form with four-line stanzas, which can interlock in an aaba bbcb format, etc. They are metered: I chose trochaic pentameter, though I took liberties and made the lines 9 syllables long instead of 10.
The topic? The weight of one man beside oceans, and under hollow space. He is nothing. And yet he is made to recognize this and speak of it, or the rocks will cry out themselves.
kiwi-damnation.deviantart.com/…
Question: Should the word there in the second-to-last line remain "scream?" Or should it be "shout", "dance", "quake" or something completely other than that?
The topic? The weight of one man beside oceans, and under hollow space. He is nothing. And yet he is made to recognize this and speak of it, or the rocks will cry out themselves.
kiwi-damnation.deviantart.com/…
Question: Should the word there in the second-to-last line remain "scream?" Or should it be "shout", "dance", "quake" or something completely other than that?
© 2012 - 2024 LaBruyere
Comments17
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I just love your poetry. The images they evoke are breathtaking.
If you are really asking our opinions about the second to last line, I think shout would be better there, but that's up to you.