literature

Rain Tanka

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LaBruyere's avatar
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Published:
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Literature Text

1.
Breath held strictly back,
The rain is no longer soft.
She breaks and breathes light,
From highest heaven to earth
With a day brought forth in night.

2.
No man feels mortal
In rain-washed skin like armor.
Thunder is his worth
And storms brought forth his drum,
For a season's breathless mirth.

3.
Blown over like sand
The rain soothes soft; inhales.
She that life draws from
Is stored, is stayed, and bestowed
Till the mortal night succumbs.
Three tankas that flow into each other. I can't resist a small rhyme scheme, even though strictly speaking the tanka doesn't require one. Of a stormy night.
© 2012 - 2024 LaBruyere
Comments8
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CrematedMan's avatar
The consonance, while obvious, contributes greatly to the sound.
Blown over like sand
The rain soothes soft; inhales.
she that life draws from
Is stored, is stayed, and bestowed
Till the mortal night succumbs.


The expression is, for the most part, uncliched and the imagery is quite evocative. I do have an affinity for Eastern forms, and I very much enjoyed this. Well done.